History of Croquet
The History of the Family Wood and the sport known as Croquet has been traced back to the times before our forebearers first wended their way out of the Pripet Marshes in the mid-1300s. It is thought that it may have been an in-door (or in-cave) version of lawn-bowling to be played in times of inclement weather. In the ancient tongue, the game was called "beille-maille" which means ball-mallet.
During this period our forefathers, known to history as Sue-pear Woods (or “Greater Woods”), and the Scottish royal family, the Wudhull-Williamsons, were fierce allies.
Woods then, as now, were a particularly competitive breed and quickly turned this genteel sport into a rivalry with their Scottish brethren. In the years after 1524, an annual grudge-match (known as the Beille Bowl) was held between the two sides, in which the losing side would be subject to much laughter, mocking, and nose-thumbing on the part of the victors. With such stakes, it should not be surprising that the competition eventually shattered the Wood-Scotch alliance irrevocably when, in 1546, a young Scotsman named Bob Eh was decapitated most fiercely by the famous Yustin Wood.
In 1604 the crowns of Scotland and England were united under James VI of Scotland, soon to be known as James I of England. When he moved into the palace in London, he brought with him a beille-maille set and provided lessons for the entire court taught by the revered Jo-Ann Wicket-son.
Meanwhile, Dr. Crooky Wood, a leader in the early treatment of Rickets, changed the rules of beille-maille slightly and recommended it for his patients. In 1637, the Royal Therapeutic Association approved the revised game for over-the-counter usage and "Crooky" (by now called Croquet) spread far and wide and supplanted "beille-maille" throughout the kingdom.
Croquet eventually became popular throughout the British Empire. It gained such tremendous popularity that an association was formed at Wimbledon headed by Dave “the knuckle-buster” Wud. Formal rules were laid down in 1868. Many fields were dedicated to Croquet. But this popularity was short-lived. The game of tennis hit England in general and Wimbledon in particular. Most of the croquet fields were turned into tennis courts to the chagrin of Bah-bah Wud, patron saint of Wimbledon’s croqueting elite.
Even so, croquet has survived as a sport and is even gaining in popularity today as a rather high class sport attended by reigning “sportinistas” including the likes of Winny Wud, Clayton Fastbottom, and Henri Wicketsticker. On any given day in the summer, people can be found in their back yards or at the local park croqueting to their heart's content. There are associations throughout the English-speaking world where competition is fierce and standards high. And now…it has returned from whence it came…the Wood Family in the modern rendition of the Beille Bowl.
Croquet: Setup
The standard setup for croquet is commonly called the double diamond pattern. Beginning with 9 wickets and two stakes the players pick out a field upon which to play.
Ideally the field will be 100 feet by 50 feet on relatively even ground. However, this is not strictly required. Almost any terrain may be used (within reason). The layout should be made in a manner as close as possible to that shown on the diagram to the left.
The game was designed to be played with four or six balls. Yet it may be played with two to six players. Generally, two teams are formed. If there is an odd number of players, the extra player may play two balls. Players may also play "cut-throat" where each plays one ball and scores for himself.
The order of play is determined by color and where that color appears on the end-posts. The player with the colored ball at the top of the post goes first and then down the post. Players on opposing teams should hold alternating positions in play. For example, the player who is first should be allied with the third and fifth player. While the second player should be allied with the fourth and sixth.
Croquet: Object
To win at croquet, a player or team must score the highest number of points. One point is awarded for every wicket passed through in the proper direction and proper order. (That means there are two points awarded for five of the wickets, 1 point each for four wickets, and one point for each stake for a total of 16 points).
Each player must drive his ball around the course in the order indicated on the diagram at left. When all the players on a team have completed the course, the game is over and the points are tallied. Thus, one team will get the full number of points available, while the other team will achieve something less.
When a player hits the final stake he ceases to take turns. It is sometimes to a team's advantage for a player to pass through all the wickets, but not hit the final stake in order to return to the field to help his team-mates. However, this player must eventually hit the final stake in order to ultimately win the game. A player from the other team may actually croquet such a player into the final stake just to get him out of the game. (Rules for croqueting are in the next section.)
Croquet: General Rules
A coin toss should determine who goes first. Among younger players, there is often a rush to get a certain color. Color determines order and should be allocated based on teams selected and the coin toss. It should be noted that there is not a particular advantage to being first. In fact, many players prefer to be late in the order.
The player to begin play places his ball about mid-way between the stake and the first wicket. He hits his ball with the mallet and attempts to pass through the wickets before him. If he passes through both wickets, he receives two bonus strokes.
Generally, bonus strokes do not accumulate - only the last bonus strokes earned are allowed (the exception being the two wickets at the starting or turning stakes). Bonus strokes are awarded for going through a wicket, for hitting a stake, or for hitting another ball.
Bonus strokes for passing through wickets or hitting a stake are played from where the ball lies after the point is made. When a player hits another player's ball, it is called croqueting. For croqueting a player is awarded two bonus strokes.
If a player croquets he has four options. First, he may take two bonus strokes from wherever his ball lands. Second, he may place his own ball a single mallet head's length away from the ball hit - in any direction he chooses. Then he may take his two bonus strokes. Third, he may put his ball next to the ball hit. Then hit his own ball so that it moves both balls in a desired direction. He then has one bonus shot remaining. Finally, he may place his own ball side by side with the struck ball. Then placing his foot on his own ball strike it so as to move the other ball without moving his own. He then has one stroke to execute as he chooses.
Each ball may be croqueted only once per turn unless the player goes through a wicket or hits the turning stake. Even so, a player may croquet more than one ball per turn between wickets. If a ball is struck twice in the same turn without passing through a wicket, no penalty is awarded, no bonus is awarded.
If another player by any legal means moves another player's ball through a wicket or causes it to hit a stake, the wicket or stake is scored, but no bonus strokes are awarded.
Balls sent out of bounds should be placed one mallet length (about 36 inches) from the boundary back within the playing field at approximately the point it went out of bounds. In tournament play, balls that fall within a mallet of the boundary at the end of a turn are moved back from the boundary by the length of one mallet.
A few final notes: Balls may be struck only with the face of the mallet. A mallet cannot strike another ball. Balls played out of turn accrue no penalty - the balls are returned to status quo ante (the situation before the error occured).
Croquet: Etiquette
White attire encouraged, but not required.
No trenching.
Be nice to Joanne, she is doing her best.